Why Not Take All of Me?

A week or so ago a friend of mine emailed me that she was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and that she was all set to send me a laundry lists of woes and complaints, but instead she made a list of things she has to be grateful for and then she felt much better and decided she didn’t need to send a laundry list after all.  (Wow, was that really all one sentence?  Yes.  I am turning into Faulkner.)

I also have a lot to be thankful for.  Given the time I could probably fill up pages with my list.  I have been keeping a gratitude journal for 15 years and I write in it every night before I go to sleep.  I’ve been trying to train my mind if not always to focus on the things I am grateful for, at least to recognize them more readily.  Nevertheless, today I feel like I’ve got nothing left to give.  Like Shane, I have become one of the Walking Dead, although hopefully Carl won’t catch up with me.  If you are not a Walking Dead fan, all that means is that I feel like a zombie on complete autopilot but without the craving for (well, you know what zombies eat.)

Today’s reading is Mark 12: 28-34.  This is Mark’s version of the religious authority coming to Jesus and asking what the greatest commandment is.  This version isn’t exactly the same as the versions in Matthew and Luke.  In this version the lone Scribe affirms Jesus’ answer and Jesus replies to the Scribe:  You, my friend, are already very close to the kingdom.

Of course, the greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.  There are no requirements for just how much heart, soul, mind, and strength that is.  Just all.  Even if you have precious little, the answer is still all, the same as if you are Einstein or Samson or the Dalai Lama.  If you are a brilliant philosopher, then love God with that.  If you are the one of the Walking Dead, then lay your **** eating self before God and love him with that.

Today I lay my tired and depleted, running-on-autopilot, afraid-of-what-tomorrow-might-hold self before God and love him with that.  That’s all God asks.

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About candivernon

I used to be Candi Vernon, but now I'm Candi Vernon Cubbage. I write, therefore I am a writer.
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