You Planted Me in My Own Body

I’ve felt like I was going nowhere for a few weeks now.  I guess we all have times in our lives when we feel a little bit adrift.  There are times when plans and dreams fall apart.  There are times when the support we thought we had just isn’t there.  There are times when it just feels like no progress is being made and our energy is running out.

It occurred to be today that maybe it’s not that I’m going nowhere, but that I need to stop and let some other people catch up.  I have this vision of where we are going and there are those who seem to agree, but maybe they aren’t seeing as far into the future as I think I am.  Maybe I am on exactly the right path, but unless I want to travel it alone I’d better rest here a while.

While I’m here, I’ve been thinking.  I have wanted to be a writer since I was very young.  Now here I am.  I write just about everyday.  I guess I’m a writer, I’m just not writing the things I’d thought I’d be writing (great, passionate novels.)  Maybe I am writing the things I need to be writing instead.  At least I am writing and it feels right.  In fact, I am writing more now than  I ever have in my life.  I have this feeling that if I just sit here and type long enough, something really magnificent is eventually going to appear.’

Well.  It could happen.

If I stop worrying about whether I am good enough or not.

Today’s reading is John 5: 17-30.  This is one of those passages where Jesus says, “I’ll be the judge of that.”  Of course that means I’ll be the judge of you.  We aren’t supposed to be judging each other.  I strongly suspect we aren’t supposed to be judging ourselves either.  Let Jesus be the judge.  It’s his job.


About candivernon

I used to be Candi Vernon, but now I'm Candi Vernon Cubbage. I write, therefore I am a writer.
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2 Responses to You Planted Me in My Own Body

  1. Sallie says:

    I hope you saw the poem on my FB wall today via John Williams. Sweetie, yes yes yes. You are enough.

  2. Candi, you are a wonderful writer! And, God not only planted you in your own body, but He planted you in the garden of one particular body of Christ. And, though you may sometimes feel you are not getting anywhere and nothing is growing, I can assure you that YOU are blossoming and pollinating other plants in the process. Some of us may be slower growing because we cannot see the light because of what we perceive as weeds. Try not to get too discouraged. I think you are right in saying maybe it’s not that you are going nowhere, but that you might need to stop and rest and let others catch up. Don’t let your beautiful pedals drop prematurely, but bask instead in the glory of His Light. God’s photosynthesis will radiate the energy you need. Please don’t travel without me, Candi. I want to go too!

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