We haven’t been to Roller Derby practice in months now. Every week I think we will go back, but something always seems to get in the way. I’m sure the team thinks we have abandoned them. It’s not you, it’s us! Life just got in the way of our Wednesday nights. We’ll be there next week for sure, and we mean it when we say it. We really do mean it.
Of course, if you are going to be part of the roller derby, you have to have a roller derby name. We spent most of one Wednesday night discussing what our roller derby names should be. Mine is great: Bad Mutha (shut your mouth). Yeah, there’s a story there but it’s not as good as you might think. Just make something up for yourself. However, I’m sure you recognize that name as a reference to one of the best songs ever from one of the worst movies ever:
You see this cat Shaft is a bad mutha–
(Shut your mouth)
But I’m talkin’ about Shaft
(Then we can dig it)
Now that song will be playing in my (and probably your) head all day, but hey, it’s a great song. It’s just what I need to get me through a rainy Friday. This is the kind of day when I’d like to stay in my pajamas and read a novel all day. The problem is that even if I decided to do that, I wouldn’t get to do it, so I may as well go to work and get some things done. After all, Easter is nearly here. I have three extra worship services next week. Yep, there are things that need to be done. This is me doing those things.
Yeah, I’m not doing them.
Something is holding me back. Oh I can come up with reasons and rationalizations galore, but the reality is that my mind and heart are simply somewhere else right now. All those things will get done eventually, but probably not this morning. This morning I need to spend some time sorting things out, or maybe just being completely still and listening.
When is the last time you were completely still? Being asleep doesn’t count. When is the last time you took even a few minutes of wakeful time to breath deeply and clear your mind – empty your mind? When our minds are so full of all the things we must get done (or that must get done and we figure we are going to be the ones who will end up dong them), it’s hard to listen for something God is trying to tell us. Many of us keep ourselves occupied every waking minute. Maybe we are avoiding what we are afraid God might say if we allowed ourselves to be completely still with clear minds.
Today’s reading – well, I’m not exactly sure. I think there is a mistake on my calendar. The verses listed don’t all exist, which says to me that they either put the wrong book or the wrong chapter, or possibly the wrong verses. I don’t know what I was supposed to be reading. But one of the verses in Psalm 25 is about the Lord sticking with the brokenhearted. That feels good to read, whether I am currently brokenhearted or not.
I think it may be time for more sitting still and listening.