It’s after 10 pm and I finally have a few minutes. What a day. Not a bad day, just a full day. It has been a day of distractions and road blocks and power outages. I only accomplished one thing on my list today. If I post this blog, that will make two things. I’m going for it.
Today’s reading is Numbers 21: 4-9, another passage that I have preached on this month. That makes it hard to see anything new in it. This time when I read it I saw it as God telling us that our fears are causing us grave hardship and if we want to get well, be whole, we need to face our fears – hold them right up where everyone can see them, especially us.
I’m afraid of a lot of the same things most of the people around me are afraid of. I’m afraid of the effects of aging, of losing dignity, of not having enough money or insurance to last. I’m afraid of an uncertain future, of not having the skills or stamina or charisma I need. I’m afraid of the control that government and the rich have over our lives. I’m afraid of the corruption in politics: local, state, national and world-wide. I’m afraid of speaking out. I’m afraid of staying silent. I’m afraid that what I have to give ultimately won’t be good enough.
Well, there are no guarantees for anything in life. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. All I know is that I am a redeemed sinner. I dedicate everything I am and everything I have to God’s purposes. I don’t know how that is going to work out. I may not get to live a life of comfort and ease – although compared to many places in the world I am already pampered. So let the chips fall where they may. In for a penny, in for a pound. C’est le vie and Que sera sera.
Now I’m gonna let go and let God, and brush my teeth and go to bed.